This article was previously published December 25, 2021 and was updated on November 18, 2022
You might think of it as frustrating pet behavior problems… but could there be a deeper issue going on?
This last week I got a great question about solving problems with bully cats.
A client told me that her younger cat jumps – and humps – the older cat (both neutered males).
She’s bothered by this, as you might imagine.
It’s bullying of a completely different sort than we dealt with in the Masterclass where the 40 pound Maine Coon was terrorizing and attacking his family, including the elderly, fragile senior kitty.
And the way to solve it is also different.
There are any number of reasons why this can happen.
The list is as long as there are individual viewpoints!
For today, let’s talk about one possibility: the extraordinary phenomenon I call the Human Animal BodyMind Connection.
What is the Human Animal BodyMind Connection, you say?
It’s where an animal mirrors and acts out our feelings, doubts, stresses, and wounds.
They can also carry our dis-ease and illness in their own body, making them very sick and even causing them to die before their time.
They are trying to help us heal, evolve and grow…
And just like a child tries to help his mom by carrying something that’s too heavy for small hands, hearts or shoulders, they still try to help not realizing that it’s not their job, and might even be beyond their ability… it might even hurt them.
But their spirit is willing.
They love you, they want to help, and they do whatever makes sense to them from their viewpoint.
They feel it’s part of their purpose.
It’s the same thing with animals who love and are connected/bonded with you.
So, in this case, my spidey sense tells me that perhaps these 2 bad cats’ human mom has issues around dominance, control, and sex, which they are acting out brilliantly with her as the unwilling audience.
I could be wrong… I’ve not spoken to her about this or worked with her or her cats (yet), so don’t quote me on that as the “truth”.
Just sayin’ it could be a factor and isn’t one most folks are aware of…
If it IS a hidden factor, then when I communicate with the cats, and ask them why they’re doing that, they might respond with something along the lines of…
“We are acting out a wound our mom has suffered hoping she can better see it so she can deal with it and heal.”
When we go deeper, we may find abuse in her background, perhaps from a family member, coworker, or authority figure…
She may have been attacked, or was a victim of crime, or she may have witnessed something like that that she’s had trouble making peace with.
If so, then it’s time to heal so she can move on with her life free from the pain, empowered and strong.
Once Mom communicates she gets the message, takes her power back, and has made the wound conscious so she is aware at a deeper level…
And once she’s thanked the kitties for helping her heal, evolve and grow into her best self.
At that point, the cats can stop acting it out and mirroring it for her… because she won’t need them to do so any longer.
The kitties can go on about their regularly scheduled play time, nap and grooming sessions, and the usual kitty kat chit chat about the birds and food.
Now I’m going to share one of the ways you could come to this conclusion if these were your pets and what to do about it.
Consider how their behavior makes you feel. Are you triggered?
Do you feel very uncomfortable? Angry? Do you want to run away and avoid it entirely?
If your emotional response is anything other than peaceful, calm and neutral, making it difficult for you to take calm, appropriate action to deal with it, then yes, you’ve been triggered.
And yes, you have personal wounds to deal with and heal.
When I do the first step (of five) in my proprietary system for solving problems with pets (I call it The Heart System for Solving Problems with Pets), one of the main things I’m communicating with your pets about is the complexity of the Human Animal BodyMind Connection.
I ask your pets, “How are you connected? What is your Soul contract together? What is your intended purpose in acting this out? Is this your issue or your persons? What do you want to have happen?”
Like with Family Constellation therapy work, and rebalancing the family matrix energetically through the BodyTalk Healing System for Pets and People, these roles and how you serve each other must be known and addressed in order to fully solve the problems together.
So let’s talk about the process. here’s how it works.
First, we have a conversation with the pet to find out WHY they are exhibiting certain behaviors.
Find out what they know that you don’t.
Because here’s the thing about solving problems with pets:
Until we communicate with them, we cannot possibly know what the real truth is from their perspective, and until we know THAT we won’t know how to solve the problem.
If it IS a mirroring issue, you’ll feel a resonance when you start asking yourself (and them) the right questions.
And no, yelling at them to cut it out won’t, well, cut it. (pun intended)
Tell your pet that you understand now. Thank them for helping you with this.
Apologize to them if you’ve hollered at them or been punitive trying to get them to stop.
You weren’t ready to face this then… Now you are.
Tell them that you’re responsible for your own issues and are aware of the deeper problem.
You’ll take it from here, and promise to get the help you need healing.
Word of advice:
It’s best to follow through with that because animals hate it when you don’t keep promises to them.
They could easily decide you didn’t get the message, at which point you’ve got more problems including a broken trust factor to fix. Yikes!
Next, ask them to do something different, more positive, fun, that feels good to all of you.
Make a positive, best case scenario story, focusing on what you do want them to do, that would make you happy(er).
Voila! Their needs are met.
They feel heard, respected, and their GIFT to you is received.
And now everything gets easier.
But… what if it’s NOT a mirrored, acted out scenario for your viewing – and healing – pleasure?
So, if this doesn’t solve the problem, we have to go deeper. We missed something.
Here’s the thing I’ve learned about solving problems with pets in my 30 plus year career doing this work:
Until we communicate with the animal directly, we cannot possibly know what the real truth is from their perspective, and until we know THAT, we won’t know how to solve the problem.
Not everything is about YOU after all.
And sometimes? It is. You are connected.
There’s a lot to learn if you want to communicate clearly and effectively, starting with getting out of your human centered viewpoint.
When I first started solving behavior problems with animals, and teaching students how to do it too, I discovered that they always have very good reasons for their behavior.
Our job is to find out what those reasons are, and to learn how to communicate clearly in a two-way, heart to heart, mind to mind conversation.
Starting with quieting the mind, shifting into your heart, and feeling your love connection.
These are the complex issues that my clients and students work on (and are the kinds of things I help them solve).
The thought processes I’ve described here are the kind that I take my private clients and coach my animal talk students through in The Heart School of Animal Communication courses and in the BEST Online Animal Talk Coaching & Mastery Club’s Live Classes (for Gold and Platinum members).
If you know what you want your animal to do (or not do) but you’re not communicating clearly enough to solve those problems, I help you to really pin it down, mind to mind, heart to heart…
I also help you find what’s in the way from the Human Animal BodyMind Connection perspective, so your pet doesn’t have to keep mirroring you or acting out your stress and imbalances or getting sick with your dis-eases.
Now, you have a choice.
- Option A: Learn how to talk with animals yourself so you can solve your own problems with pets…
- Option B: Hire an expert to sort things out for you 1:1 privately…
- Option C: Get expert coaching in the Animal Talk Coaching & Mastery Club…
- Option D: All of the Above.
Whatever you do, do it sooner than later.
Want more information about the Heart School online courses and Club?
I make this easy as 1-2-3 for big hearted, spiritually open animal lovers with The Heart Wisdom Methods.
Beginners and advanced students – especially folks wanting to make animal communication your career – are welcome!
>> HERE <<
NOTE: Our Live Q&A Coaching Calls are the second Saturdays of the month, for Gold and Platinum Animal Talk Coaching & Mastery Club members.
Download my FREE Ebook Hidden Secrets to Communicating with Animals – just click on the picture below!
Your thoughts? Questions? Contact me now!
Wishing you and your pets health, love and good relationships, and especially good communication.
FREE Online Dog Training Workshop!
If You Have a Dog, Or Are Getting One, This is For You
Dog training is certainly the hardest part of owning a dog, but it can also be one of the most rewarding parts when you do it right.
It can be very frustrating having a dog that is not housebroken, barks excessively, keeps pulling on the leash during your walks, doesn’t respond whenever it’s called, or jumps up on
You’ll be fed up, because it’s pretty exhausting to keep trying to make them listen. You’ll wonder how professional dog trainers help dogs behave exactly the way they (the trainers) want them to.
But hiring a trainer can be quite expensive, and to be honest, you don’t really need to. I’ll explain how in a minute.
First, let me talk about WHY your dog seems to be so hard to train…
The reason you are having so much difficulty training your dog is that you’ve been doing dog training the outdated way.
It’s not your fault though. The fault really lies with all the bad dog training information that’s out there on the Internet and elsewhere.
Most people start training their dogs using verbal cues or commands like SIT, STAY, etc. Because that’s what they have been taught to do by numerous books on dog training and by all the videos they’ve seen on the Internet.
Here’s the problem – that’s exactly how NOT to train a dog!
Because the science of animal behavior says that starting your training using verbal cues sets your dog up for failure.
Dogs that are trained only using verbal cues never get trained properly. Or at least, the training doesn’t last long.
So what’s the best way to train a dog?
The science is very clear on this – dogs are best trained by using body language. Now, this doesn’t mean that you should never use verbal cues.
What it means is that you should always START your dog training using body language.
Later on, you can bring in a verbal cue to reinforce your dog’s training.
That’s it? Yeah, that’s it
So how do you train your dog using body language?
I came across this fantastic free workshop from the K9 Training Institute that helps you learn how to do just that.
The workshop is designed to help “normal” dogs like yours have the same level of calmness, obedience and impulse control as service dogs.
It’s conducted by Dr. Alexa Diaz (one of the top service dog trainers in the U.S.) and Eric Presnall (host of the hit Animal Planet TV show “Who Let the Dogs Out“).
Frankly, the techniques described in the workshop are fairly groundbreaking – I haven’t seen anyone else talk of these techniques.
This is because it’s the first time ever (at least that I know of) that anyone has revealed the secret techniques used by the service dog training industry to train service dogs.
In the free workshop, you’ll discover:
- How to train your dog using body language, rather than verbal cues
- The 3 key techniques that service dog trainers use to train dogs, and how you can use them too
- The most important step that “normal” dog owners have been missing (this is very important to get your dog’s attention, and it works 100% of the time)
- How to stop bad behaviors like excessive barking, pulling on the leash, jumping, etc.
- Why a lot of dog owners are unable to establish the amazing bond that service dog trainers have with their dogs
The tips shared in this free workshop work on ALL dog breeds – from small breeds like Pomeranians and Chihuahuas to large breeds like English Mastiffs and Great Danes.
Also, puppies as young as 6 weeks old, and previously untrained adult dogs as old as 13 years, have been successfully trained using these techniques.
It’s not a live workshop – better, it’s a pre-recorded workshop, which means that you can watch it at your convenience.
However, while the workshop is free, I am not sure whether it’s going to be online for too long, so please check it out as soon as you can.
Here are a few examples of what they’ll be covering:
- The 3 key techniques that service dog trainers use to train dogs, and how you can use them too
- How to train your dog using body language, rather than verbal commands
- How to stop your dog from barking excessively
- Why service dogs behave so well when walking on the leash without pulling even once
- How to stop bad behaviors like jumping etc.
Like I said, there’s no charge and you can sign up here.
This is for you if:
- You want to get your dog to listen to you – everytime and without fail
- You’ve tried everything out there to train your dog, and you’ve been completely frustrated at the lack of results
- You want to get that special bond with your dog that only service dog handlers have with their dogs
If that sounds like something you and your dog needs, this new training is a must.
Much love to you and your special puppy and doggo pal(s),
Val “Dog Lover Heart
Note: Occasionally I will mention something very cool that I believe in other than my own stuff where I might receive some compensation for taking the time and trouble to tell you about it. Please know that I always research the product, event or company first and will only recommend it if I think it is truly worthwhile. I am personally involved in improving health care for people and dogs, so I know this stuff works and will help you with your pup.
Enjoyed this article? Here are 3 of my most popular articles to help you better understand and communicate with your pet: